Copyright © 2001 Richard
Tosti
Introduction
Chapter 1 -- Vision
Chapter 2 -- Psycholinguistics
Chapter 3 -- Biochemistry of Visionary Leaders
Chapter 4 -- Self-confidence/Self-Esteem
Chapter 5 -- Positive self-control
Chapter 6 -- Courage
Chapter 7 -- Adaptability
Chapter 8 -- Customer Focused
Chapter 9 -- Synergize
Chapter 10 -- Faith
Also, read this book with a spirit of fun in your heart. I do
believe in the importance of humor, particularly when learning a life lesson
or success principle. Take the
story of three individuals who were going to be executed: one was a
leader, the second was an achiever, and the third was a perfectionist.
Their executioner asked, “Who wants to be first?” The leader volunteered.
He sat in the electric chair and was told that if the switch didn’t work
he could go free.
However, it had always worked. The executioner flipped the switch,
and miraculously it didn’t work. The leader was released and went
free!
"Who's next?" the executioner asked. The achiever enthusiastically
volunteered. Again he was told that if it didn’t work he could go
free. The executioner flipped
the switch, and again it didn’t work. The achiever was free!
At this time the perfectionist got up and before sitting in the electric
chair he leaned over and said,
“Don’t forget to put the plug in the wall.”
I’ve been in the professional development business for over 23 years,
and for the first 15 years I thought I was a leader and an achiever.
That’s incorrect; I’m a
perfectionist. Because I ask the following question when I make
decisions in life: What is the correct decision to make? I
base my answers on principles and values
because they don't change – people do.
Those principles and values, which were true 100 years ago and will be true 100 years from now, are the foundation of Excellence in Leadership.
Excellence in Leadership is practiced from inside out on four levels.
The “Organizational Level” deals with the need to organize people;
to recruit them; train them; compensate them; build teams; and create aligned
structures,
strategies and systems. The Principle is Alignment.
The “Managerial Level” deals with our responsibility to get the job done with others. The Principle is Empowerment.
The “Interpersonal Level deals with our relationships and interactions with others. The Principle is Trust.
The “Personal Level” is our relationship with ourselves. The Principle
is Trustworthiness or Integrity. There are two forms of Integrity.
Competence Integrity is
what we can do, and it comes out of professional development.
The second form is Character Integrity; it is who we are as people, and
it comes out of personal
development.
Who we are as people determines what we can do on the job. So
Character determines our Competence. We are not concerned with what
we do, but rather
who we are. But anytime there is a breakdown in the organization,
where can we find it? The first answer I receive in seminars is in
the "Organizational Level," in
the programs used to achieve Alignment.
Wrong!
Who writes the programs? People. Therefore the breakdown
is at the "Personal Level" with the individual programmer. This happens
because when people think
of change or learning they think of learning new skills, rather than
displaying more Integrity toward basic principles. But what motivates
us in the face of change?
When money motivates us, we reach plateaus and lack consistency.
When our motivation, quality, excellence and consistency is derived from
principles and values,
then our sense of personal honor overpowers temporary moods.
This book is about building Character Integrity, for who we are as people
comes out of personal development. Personal development is the springboard
to my
personal excellence. It is my guide that I utilize daily to assure
my success. This book signifies my own participation in the growing
and learning process, because I
haven’t arrived as yet. As I write it I am speaking to myself.
I have decided to place the vast majority of this material in the first
person present tense, using “I, me, my, mine" or "we, our” whenever possible.
When I insert
words like “you" or "your,” the reason is to have more impact.
The bottom line is that it will benefit you substantially, for as you read
it you will be speaking it to
yourself.
Success
Let’s begin by first offering a definition of success, because this
is the reason I am reading this book. I want to achieve greater success
in my life. Success is the
progressive and systematic realization of a worthy goal. If I
have set a goal in one or more of the following areas – personal, financial,
social, family, career, mental,
professional, or physical – I am a success. I’m moving toward
the achievement of the goal. If I am on a journey to achieve my goals,
I am a success. The joy is in
the striving, not the destination.
Years ago my manager gave me $100.00 and said, “Buy something to make
your life easier.” I bought a present for him. This book is
a present for me to make my
life easier. It is designed to help me help myself get the results
I want in my life! I will share the knowledge of what I do daily,
but also why I do it. So I have a
deeper understanding of the process.
Excellence in Leadership is the practical application of how highly
effective leaders think. Let me share a definition of a leader.
A leader is in all levels of the
organization; it is everyone. Whether I am in management or non-management,
I am a leader. We are all leaders or CEO’s of our own company.
Just as all people have untapped athletic potential, I have untapped
leadership potential. There are clear differences due to nature and
nurture, that is genes and
development, as to how much untapped potential there may be.
But no matter what level of leadership performance I currently exhibit,
quantum improvements can
be made.
Not everyone can be the CEO of a multi-billion dollar corporation, just
as not everyone can be an Olympian or win at Wimbledon. But with
coaching and practice,
I can be a lot better than I am. "Leadership is there in me!”
Leadership development for everyone begins with ideas. What impact
can one idea have on my personal productivity?
Roberto Goizueta, the former Chairman of Coca-Cola, asked a question of his senior managers: “What is our market share?”When I study this material daily, I search for one idea that I can utilize today to positively impact my quality of life. Excellence in Leadership is the software for my“45%," came the confident reply.
“How many ounces of liquid does a human being need to drink a day?” Goizueta asked.
“64 ounces a day,” came the puzzled reply.
“On average, how many ounces of all our products does a person drink per day?” Goizueta asked.
“2 ounces,” came their response.
“What’s our market share?” came his final question.
With that one big idea, Roberto Goizueta changed the future of a 100-year-old institution. Coca-Cola managers had assumed that the company couldn’t grow rapidly, and that any growth it could get would come from buying other businesses like shrimp farming, or movie studios. With one big idea, that the competition was not PepsiCo, but was in fact any other beverage, Goizueta put Coca-Cola managers on the search for growth opportunities everywhere in the world. Today Coca-Cola is one of the most valuable companies on earth because of this.
(Quoted from The Leadership Engine)
The philosophical foundation of Excellence in Leadership is analogous
to the Great Barrier Reef, which stretches nearly 1800 miles from New Guinea
to Australia.
Coral polyps on the tranquil inside wall of the reef appear pale and
lifeless, while the coral on the outside of the reef, subject to the surge
of the tide and power of the
violent crashing waves, are bright and vibrant with splendid colors
and prolific growth.
Why is this? It’s very simple: The coral on the lagoon-side
dies rapidly with no challenges for growth and survival. The coral
facing the surge and power of the
open sea thrives and multiples because it is challenged and tested
every day. So it is with every living organism on earth.
When adapted to, my adversities act as corrective feedback to put me
back on course or keep me on course. Then these adversities develop
an immunity in me
against future discouragement and distress. I am cognizant that
stress is a part of my life. It’s exceedingly difficult to reduce
it. But it is very possible for me to
prevent it, and in the process lead a far happier, healthier, and more
productive life.
Not all stress is bad, either. There are two forms of stress I
will deal with in my life. The first is “Eustress,” that is, positive
tension created by desire and
expectancy. It is essential to life, and stimulates my thinking
to maintain a peak performance state. Some examples of positive stress
are my job, marriage, team
meetings, changes, reorganization, new boss, time limits, goal setting,
and client contacts The desire created by Eustress looks to the future.
The second form of stress is called “Distress,” which is negative tension
induced by fear. Family deaths, divorce, loss of a job, lack of training,
lack of trust, lack of
communication, a lack of empowerment, organizational misalignment,
lack of integrity (untrustworthiness), and fear of rejection/failure are
all examples of Distress.
But how does it effect us in our everyday lives?
It impairs the cerebration process, because Distress directs blood flow
away from the head to center of the body, causing a lack of oxygen and
nutrients. I know
that one out of two people die from heart attacks. 50% of those
die on Monday morning between the hours of eight and nine. This is
due to their interpretation of
what Monday means; their mental obsessions have physical manifestations.
These worries, self-doubts and fears look to the past and create roadblocks
to mental
and physical performance.
However, I am not a physical body that has learned how to think.
I am thought that has learned how to develop the physical body.
It seems to me that one of my objectives is to reduce my stress in
life. Stress is an obvious deterrent to high achievement and maintaining
a healthy body. This
specific question I ask myself daily. How can I reduce my Distress
and enhance my Eustress to be a more effective person?
In order to answer this, first I need to understand the common denominator
of success needed to accomplish my goal. What is the generic factor
among the most
successful leaders in the world or the most highly effective, results
oriented people?
It’s this: the most highly effective people develop those habits, behaviors,
beliefs, and disciplines and engage in those activities that the average
or mediocre person
will not practice or believe . What are those behaviors the average
person does not want to engage in? They are the same behaviors that
the highly effective people
do not want to engage in. Then why do highly effective people
practice and believe in these behaviors and beliefs? The reason is
that highly effective people are
focused on the desired results they want to achieve in life, even if
achieving them takes 20 or 30 years. They're interested in the end
result.
The mediocre performer is focused on the means to the end result. They want to feel joy and contentment continuously along the road to the end result.
The effective people say, “Irrelevant. Whether I have my ups and downs, if I engage in these activities regularly then I will achieve my lifetime dreams and goals.”
This shows me I need to be aware of the "E" factor, the expediency factor.
“Most people do those things that are easy, fun and fast-tension relieving
instead
hard, slow and necessary goal achieving. It’s the short-term
gain long-term pain syndrome.” I realize that many of my goals will
not be achieved in the short range.
Therefore, I need to understand about three forms of motivation I may
utilize to aid me in achieving my dreams.
An example of the first is about a Texan who has an intelligent, beautiful
daughter. He wanted her to marry a winner, so he invited the most
eligible bachelors in the
state to a party. He said to them, “ If you can swim across my
Olympic sized swimming pool (filled with alligators and crocodiles) you
will have a choice of selecting
either one million dollars, 10,000 acres of land, or my daughter’s
hand in marriage.”
Immediately there was a splash in the water, then a gentleman came up
the opposite side of the pool. The Texan asked him, “Do you want
a million dollars?” "No,"
he replied. “Do you want 10,000 acres of land?” "No!" he
said again. With a smile on his face, the Texan said, “Then you want
my daughter’s hand in marriage?
"NO!" the man shouted. Frustrated, the Texan asked, “Then what
do you want?”
“I want to know who pushed me in!”
That’s called fear motivation. It works. This gentleman achieved his goal, but the stressful factors were at 100%. I don’t believe in fear motivation.
The second form of motivation is called incentive motivation.
I may be given a prize, bonus, commission, or gift to increase my effectiveness
level. Incentive
motivation is good, but what if I’m the person who's giving and I have
no more to give? Or what if I’m the receiver, and my company has
no more to give me? The
only time there is an increase in my effectiveness level is when I
receive something. Incentive motivation is good, but it’s not the
best. I wouldn’t want this alone to
be the reason why I am a highly effective leader or high achiever in
life.
The third form of motivation is called personal motivation, an intense personal drive or desire to achieve.
The principles, values, and leadership traits that I am introducing
are the foundation stones for developing a higher personal motivational
level. They are the traits that
highly results oriented people possess. These are the traits
that I possess. These traits manifest themselves into high achievement.
All highly effective leaders possess these leadership traits (competency
model): vision , high self-confidence/esteem, accountability, empowerment,
courage
(risk taking), adaptability (a changes master), excellence, self motivation,
interpersonal communications skill, and a synergistic focus.
I presented a seminar to General Electric at their Crotonville Leadership
Center in September 1999. Their leadership trait competency model
is similar to the one
introduced in this book. That same year, Fortune Magazine stated,
“GE is the most admired corporation in the world, two consecutive years.”
In 1998, The
Financial Times named GE the “World’s Most Respected Company” and GE’s
Chairman, Jack Welch, as the “Most Admired CEO.”, by 10,000 executives,
directors and securities analysts. Time magazine called GE a
"Company of the Century" and Jack Welch the "CEO of the Century" in its
1998 Time 100 issue.
Hundreds of corporations have studied and adapted their model to fit
their corporate values when dealing with professional development.
Surprisingly enough, my
model was designed 10 years prior to studying the GE model. Why
do I tell you this? To show that Excellence in Leadership works.
Obstacle to Success
At this time let’s discuss the obstacle to success I will be dealing
with, and then determine why this model is essential to overcoming this
obstacle and remaining a
high achiever. Remember, I said obstacle! There is only
one.
Scientists did a study in Florida. They put a barracuda in a tank with
a red snapper, a sport fish that is a natural food source for the barracuda.
The barracuda
attacked the red snapper again and again in vain, because the scientists
had placed a glass panel between them. After many of these failed
attempts, the scientists
removed the glass partition. Did the barracuda attack the red
snapper? No! It did not!
A baby elephant in a circus has a two-inch chain, only five feet long,
around its leg. It can take five steps and is stopped. Hundreds
of times it does this. Five years
later that elephant weighs two tons. Around its leg is a piece
of rope tied to a wooden stake pegged only two feet deep into the ground.
It takes five steps and it
stops. It could break the rope or wooden stake, but it doesn’t
try to escape. Why?
It doesn’t believe it can. It was conditioned. The glass
partition and the five steps are reality to the barracuda and elephant.
They were conditioned. They
developed self-imposed limitations that determined their behavior.
We, too, are conditioned daily through the failures and setbacks we've
encountered since childhood. We have also developed self-imposed
limitations that have
limited our accomplishments in life.
The number one obstacle to success in a person’s life is the development
of self-imposed limitations. It is something we have control over.
This book is about
never developing them, or eliminating them in our lives. You
can if you think you can!
The information I am about to read daily will assist me to overcome
any self-imposed limitations I may have developed. Or this information
may assist me in climbing
the corporate ladder, or help me to adapt in an aggressive positive
manner to the changes in my corporate world, or help me to be productive
during transitional
times in my life.
The process in developing these leadership traits is based on the most
amazing phenomena of human nature. Ralph Waldo Emerson calls it the "self-fulfilling
prophecy": “What I think about I become, I am the end result
of what I think.”
I am motivated by my dominant thoughts. I move in the direction
of my dominant thoughts. I am either motivated by the Rewards of
Success – achievement,
improved quality of life, recognition, development of skills, an enjoyable
or challenging job, enthusiasm, happiness, faith, relaxation freedom, leisure,
financial security,
piece of mind, reduced tension and stress, health, personal fulfillment,
family happiness, rewards and incentives, desire, independence, pride,
vacations – or I am
motivated by the Penalties of Failure. Anger, hatred, revenge,
depression, anxiety, fear, worry, procrastination, poverty, jealousy, greed,
problems, tension and
stress, sickness, lack of production, loneliness, and doubt.
We are all motivated differently. We all have different brains.
My Dad said to me as a child, “Richard, you should eat calves brains, You’ll
get smarter.” I was in a
health food store the other day, calves brains were $2.00 an ounce,
accountants brains were $50.00 an ounce, lawyers brains were $100.00 an
ounce, consultants
brains were $1,000,000.00 an ounce. I asked, Why is there such
a large disparity between accountants, lawyers and consultants brains.
The storeowner said, “Do
you know how many consultants we have to shoot to get an ounce of brains?”
I have a process whereby I can develop to a greater extent the preceding
competency model. If it can work for my consultant's brain, it can
work for yours. It
results in thinking about the rewards of success an extra five minutes
a day or five hours a day. As a result you will achieve more, because
you move in the direction
of your dominant thoughts.
When I spend my time thinking about the penalties of failure, these
thoughts prevent me from achieving my lifetime dreams. Excellence
in Leadership is about
achieving a peak performance state consistently. Anyone can have
moments of brilliance, but Excellence in Leadership provides consistency
for 20 to 40 years.
Excellence in Leadership is the “strangest secret” in the world.
It's strange because it’s so simple; I only wish it were easy to do.
It’s a secret because people don't
even know that they don't know. People who know don't know they
know.
What?
We become what we think about most of the time. Whatever I am
thinking of right now, I’m moving unconsciously toward the achievement
of that thought.
Therefore, my thoughts should be consistently positive, and productive
about how I will implement the material learned today. The questions
you should ask daily as
you are reading are, "How will I use this in my life today? What can
I do today to practice what I am reading?"
This has been the introduction up to this point. Let us now begin
the journey towards becoming a more effective, results-oriented leader.
And learn about the two
self-management skills and six self-management leadership traits of
all highly effective people.
The most important positive thoughts or actions I should engage
in daily deal with goal setting. There are two aspects to goal setting.
First is Management by Objectives. I need to set a strategic plan.
My objectives should be concrete, measurable, believable, and realistic.
This is the design
phase. I decide what I want to achieve.
The second aspect deals with execution and achievement of the objective.
98% of the people I meet have no idea what skill determines execution and
achievement. They think it’s spending more time on something
or working harder at it. But the key is working smarter. It
is the first self-management skill that all
highly effective leaders engage in daily: Vision. A Visionary's
right brain function allows them to use their intuition, imagination, creativity,
and spatial
reasoning – or ability to see images.
By using Sensory Vision I can guide myself through a series of virtual
reality demonstrations to exercise my imagination in a clear, creative
way. I will visualize my
goals in sensory-rich images of achievement that have all the details
of sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch.
This process needed to become more Visionary is called: Visual Motor
Behavior Rehearsal (VMBR). It was first recognized in the training
of Olympic athletes,
who practiced mental training as well as physical training. It's
a synthetic experience or simulation of anticipation and response.
I synthetically experience the
anticipated and I respond to the performance. In this relentless
pursuit of the desired result, I never look back at the undesirable conditions,
failures or results.
But for this self-management skill to have maximum impact, I should understand how and why it works.
There are two levels involved in my thinking process: the subconscious
and the conscious level. I can call the subconscious level my robot
level of thinking. It is
responsible for autonomic body control such as breathing, heartbeat,
digestion, circulation, and the involuntary muscle movement.
The storage of information in my memory bank takes place in the subconscious.
It comes in the form of words, pictures, and emotions; it grows with time;
and it is
non-erasable. I can recall these words and pictures on my "screen"
– my imagination. For example, I can project an image of my Mother
or Father in my
imagination, or I can see an image of me communicating with clients,
playing a sport or dancing. The images I project on my screen are
my self-image, my imagined
self, my imagined behavior, my imagined performance, and my imagined
goal.
I can project on my screen a self-image concerning every performance,
talent, and characteristic: I enjoy communicating with people, or I have
lousy communication
skills: I have no patience, or I’m patient and understanding; I’m a
lousy cook, or I can’t boil an egg. I’m a good dancer. I have
a great sense of humor. I have a
terrible memory. I’m never on time. I’m a born loser.
I’m a winner.
I am controlled by these mental pictures I form. I cannot outgrow
these limits I place on myself, I can only set new limits within which
I must live. So I must change
my internal pictures before there can be a lasting behavior change
in my external performance and emotions. If I change my self-image,
I change my personality and
behavior. If in my self-image I cannot see myself doing something,
achieving something, I literally cannot do it.
The self-image can be changed because the subconscious is incapable
of differentiating between a real success and a success vividly imagined
again and again in full
detail through simulation. It’s not a quick fix, it-takes work
once I learn the skill called Simulation.
Continuous Performance Improvement (CPI) is essential. Here is why:
Amputees returned from North Vietnam and were
cared for at the Walter Reed Medical Center. For several weeks and
months they had itching sensations in
limbs that were no longer there. They
would get up at three o’clock in the morning to go to the bathroom and
stumble to the floor on their stubs. Their old
self-image was lingering on long after reality
had changed. After one to three months they would finally reach for
a wheel chair. A new self-image or
performance was formed.
If it takes one to three months to change a behavior or self-image when
there is a physical change, think about the tenacity that is needed to
change a performance or
self-image from within.
My own self-image can be modified to a new and improved performance
level. My goal seeking mechanism is also controlled by my subconscious.
Like a robot
guidance computer, it’s psychocybernetic or an autopilot – a self-steering
mechanism. When programmed these computers can guide a missile to
a target or keep a
plane on a set path and altitude through the use of electronic data
feedback.
The human brain has this same psychocybernetic device: the subconscious.
Surprisingly enough, most people don’t know it’s there or don’t know how
to program
it.
I know that relaxation is my pathway to the subconscious. By relaxing
my body I eliminate the worries, fear, skepticism, and self-doubts that
distract from my
concentration.
The human brain is far more marvelous and complex than any guidance
system humans could ever invent. That's because the subconscious
has no judging
junction.
My Judge is my second level of thinking, my conscious level. The
sole function of my subconscious, my robot, is to follow instructions based
on previous input
from the Judge. Using it I am able to direct my energy on the
desired results I want to achieve.
There are two functions of the Judge. First it is a collecting
agency; it collects data from the environment through sight, hearing, touch,
taste and smell and transmits
information to my robot's memory banks. The second function of
the conscious mind is that it makes rational decisions on whether I can
or I can't achieve a goal
that day.
It would appear to be a master/slave relationship, the Judge being the
master and the slave being the subconscious robot. However, the exact
opposite is true. The
Judge cannot make a decision until clearing it with the robot.
The robot checks its memory banks, which houses the all-important self-image,
and instantaneously
relays available data back to the judge for action.
Any time I am making one of the thousands of possible decisions I face
in a day – waking at 6:00 AM, taking a shower, having breakfast, giving
a brilliant
presentation to my staff, making a million-dollar sale – my brain goes
through this process in less than a second. My robot checks its memory
banks for any
meaningful associations of words, pictures, and emotions from the past
that relate to the present decision. That relevant self-image is
played out on my screen and is
what motivates into action or inaction. It is what tells me "I
can" or "I can't."
So my success is decided by what happened in the past, not the present.
My feelings generated in the present are decided by past, and images of
achievement in my
mind create behavior changes in my body. So what is response
simulation? It is when I replay past successes or failures to determine
present and future
performance and emotions.
But what if I have no past success, no memory? What if I want to achieve something today that I never achieved before? What do I do?
The past doesn't have to equal the present and future. Then I
have to think like a CEO and utilize anticipation simulation. I must
use my imagination rather than
my memory. Remember, only two percent of the people are familiar
with this form of simulation, and they are the high achieving individuals
in any profession: CEOs,
executive officers, salespeople, teachers, or Olympic athletes.
When I use anticipation simulation, I perform a future activity successfully
in my imagination. I record it synthetically, and emotionally this
successful activity of the
future becomes the past as a recorded memory. Then I replay it
through response simulation; this is called mental rehearsal of goal achievement
(simulation)
I preplay, then replay. My simulations or conscious thoughts create
subconscious realities. High achievers dwell on past and future success
as proof of their ability
to succeed.
Why is this scientific fact, or mechanical? Because the human
nervous system cannot tell the difference between an actual experience
and one vividly imagined.
Vividness x Imagination = Reality in the subconscious mind. One
of the most profound formulas I can memorize is V x I = R (subconscious).
So seeing an image often enough will make believers out of my body and
mind. To be a highly effective leader, on a daily basis I must imagine
and fantasize that
person I would most like to become. I must imagine and fantasize
those conditions that I would most like to create. I can even imagine
tens of thousands and
sometimes millions of customers benefiting from my products and services.
These rich sensory images of achievement, when systematically programmed
into the
central nervous system, create behavior changes in my body. They
are enough to fuel my emotional drive to maintain consistent quality performance.
With this skill, highly effective leaders are able to do within when they're doing without. Winners simulate winning.
Take Steve Cauthen, for example. When he was 9 years old he had
a saddle on a bale of hay and was riding it. His father said, “Take
that bale of hay and put it in
the barn.” Stevie said, "Dad I’m riding my thoroughbred – 16.2
hands, sleek, strong, and fast." His dad said back, “Don’t be ridiculous
son, go do your chores.”
Stevie Cauthen became the youngest Triple Crown winner in history,
winning the Preakness, Kentucky Derby, and Belmont Stakes. At 9 years
old, Stevie was
already a master simulator.
The Astronauts are also masters at mental simulation. They practiced
bobbing up and down in a rubber raft at sea. They responded to the
feelings of
“weightlessness” to be experienced in outer space. They practiced
in the desert with a simulated lunar excursion module, as if they were
landing it on the surface of
the moon.
Hour after hour, month after month, they memorized and simulated the
exact theoretical steps with hundreds of critical sequences that NASA scientists
imagined
would take them safely to the moon and back. Then Neil Armstrong
took the first giant step and transmitted his reactions back to mission
control in Houston: “One
small step for man, one giant leap for mankind." Then he said,
"Just like our drills." On a later moon expedition Apollo Captain
Conrad commented, “It’s just like
old home week I feel like I’ve been rehearsing this moment for the
past four years!”
Are you familiar with Olympic Decathlon Champion Bruce Jenner?
Four years prior to his accomplishment he was in college in Eugene, Oregon.
Each morning at
breakfast time he would write on a piece of paper, "100 meters, 10.3
– high jump, 6'3" – long jump 23-6 – shot put over 50'." Four years
later he achieved those
goals from within a tenth of a second to a quarter of an inch.
He was programming his goal setting mechanism; he was projecting pictures
on the screen of his subconscious mind. He, like me, move in the
direction of the
pictures in my mind. All the goals I have achieved to date are
a result of imprinting the images of goal achievement into the auto pilot
in the right side of my brain.
This stuff is good!
At times, I may think that this takes too much discipline to do. It’s
too difficult to do while I’m in my warm office, secure bedroom, or while
driving to work in the
morning. To remind me that I can do this, I think of the most
incredible mental simulations ever. It’s about doing within when
I’m doing without.
What would most of us have done during three to seven years of deprivation
and boredom if we had been POWs in North Vietnam? What would I do
if I were
locked up with no end in sight? Sleep? Read? Get
depressed a lot? Feel sorry for myself? Resent the folks back
home?
Or would I, as most of them did, make prison a self-improvement retreat?
Several of our POWs made guitars out of wooden sticks and strings.
Although their
crude instruments made no sound at all, those who knew how to play
practiced from memory, listening in their imaginations. They taught
each other many new
chords, finger positions and songs. Some, who had never held
a guitar before, are now accomplished guitarists – seven years is a long
time!
Physical fitness abounded in the prison camps. When there was
nothing else to do, they did sit-ups. One POW now holds the world’s
record – 4,500 without
resting.
When I think I’m going through difficult times and the pressures are
piling up and I think that it is too difficult to maintain the patience
and tenacity necessary to
simulate, I think about these emotionally illustrative examples of
simulation revealed through the experiences of our POWs. I think
about Major Nesmeth.
On February 3, 1966 he was shot down and landed in the China Sea.
He was captured and spent seven years incarcerated in a 6 ft x 9 ft cement
cell. For four
years he didn’t see another human being, experiencing solitary confinement
in a pitch-black cell. Fed a plate of rice and one cup of water daily,
he became
completely emaciated. He lost 60 pounds, and did 200 sit-ups
and 100 pushups each day to maintain his physical and mental health.
What would you do, get
depressed, be lonely. Would you think about winning or losing?
Take your choice, it’s a habit.
Before his imprisonment Major Nesmeth shot a golf game in the high 90s.
To maintain his sanity he decided to play an imaginary round of golf each
day during his
seven years as a POW in North Vietnam. He would walk up to the
first tee and enjoy the wind blowing through the trees, see the white fluffy
cumulus clouds
overhead, look to the rough on the right, then to the left. He
looked down the fairway and saw the traps, but most importantly he saw
the flag and hole. In his
imagination he would take a few practice swings, then it was time to
get down to business. His left arm was straight, his head was down,
and he swung his powerful
wood to drive the ball 260 to 290 yards – in his imagination.
Then he would walk off the tee for his second shot.
He played four hours of golf a day, shooting par everyday for seven
years. He was released seven years later to the day, and two weeks
later Major Nesmeth
played golf at the Augusta Nationals with Orville Moody. He shot
a 74.
A news reporter came running up to him and said, “Beginner’s re-entry
luck?!” The Major said, “Luck heck, I haven’t missed a par in seven
years.” “What are you
talking about, there are no golf courses in prison?” The Major
said, ”There’s a golf course in everyone’s mind, its called practice without
pressure.”
Do within when you’re doing without. Simulation is self-discipline
in action! When winners are without, they work and practice to toughen
themselves to the task.
They know that the imagination is the greatest tool in the universe.
It is the universe of a prisoner of war.
Winners never quit, winners never give up. Winners pick themselves up, dust themselves off, and do it all over again ... better!
I simulate myself winning. I practice “within” when I am without.
I practice before I go to sleep, I practice after I wake up. I practice
in the shower. I practice in
my car. I make winning or simulating a habit. There’s no
time to lose!
If it’s a fact that with all the goals I achieve, I must achieve them
twice. I first simulate the achievement, and second, I actually achieve
the goal in reality. Most
people don't know to achieve goals twice, so what’s the problem?
The challenge is that most people simulate haphazardly, not realizing
what is happening. They don’t even know they don’t know. My
objective is to remind myself
of the process and then to do it intentionally, daily.
If intentional simulation is so vital, what can I do to activate the
simulation process? Mike Vance, the former Dean of Walt Disney University,
shared this skill
through his audiocassettes. It's called the Picturization Process.
It activates the simulation process in my mind.
This is how it works. I should always begin with the end result
in mind and work backwards. I think of a goal I want to achieve.
I then take a picture of it and
make a storyboard or goal poster. Examples can be a car, home,
or anything I can take a picture of or get a photo of out of a magazine.
When I repeatedly look at
these pictures, they create imprints in the right side of my brain.
Neurological pathways are triggered from the pictures to the muscles in
my legs to assist me on
moving toward the goal automatically. In the past I might have
achieved by chance and randomly. Now I want to do it intentionally.
These pictures activate positive simulations. When I control the images
in my mind. I am in control of the changes taking place in my body.
As William James said,
“What you see is what you get!”
I can have a picture of me in front of a three car garage, then another
of me walking up to the front door. Next I’m in the living room looking
out over the ocean,
and then in the den looking out over the harbor with a view of my sailboat.
Now, remember the formula V x I = R (subconscious). Whatever I
vividly imagine is recorded as real to the subconscious. As I’m seeing
these pictures, my
subconscious believes that I own them. Then I make decisions
daily moving me in the direction of living this life. It’s all-automatic.
Simulation is the closest thing to
a wish granting fairy Godmother.
How many times have I said, “I can't imagine me doing that, or I can't
see me doing that.” This statement closes the right side of the brain,
the visionary side.
Remember the body can only achieve what the mind has rehearsed. I am
achieving presently what my mind is rehearsing. I must change my
internal pictures before
there is lasting behavior change in my external performance and emotions.
Here is an illustration from a seminar I presented for Coca-Cola.
Gerry Graves, their Vice President; had approximately 150 account managers
and distributors in
the room. On the stage was a plank approximately 10 inches wide.
I asked someone to come up on the stage and walk across it. To give
them some incentive
motivation, I offered 25 dollars. Gerry accepted the challenge,
and walked across the plank. I then asked if someone would walk across
it if I widened it by 10
inches – to a total width of 20 inches – but this time extended it
from the John Hancock Tower to the Prudential Tower in Boston, Massachusetts.
I offered an incentive of $5,000.00 dollars and Gerry raised his hand.
I looked at him doubtfully and said, “Seriously Gerry, would you really
walk across it?”
“No!” he responded emphatically. “What if I were to hold one
of your account managers by his feet on the John Hancock Tower," I asked,
"and if you didn't come
across I’d drop him?” The motivation was more intense.
What would he do?
“Depends on which one,” he said jokingly. "Your highest producer!" I tossed back.
What happened to his performance level? Why did he walk the plank
in the hotel easily? The reason is the mind walked the plank, then
the body followed. He
might have had many experiences in his childhood walking across planks
or even railroad tracks of a similar width. So he used response simulation,
replaying his
past, or he utilized anticipation simulation and pre-played the future
of him walking the plank confidently and successfully.
What happened from Tower to Tower, though? The plank would have
been wider and easier to walk. However, there were additional factors
added to the
equation: the height and the fear. So why didn’t he walk?
Because by imagining himself falling, his body would follow. The
body achieves what the mind has
rehearsed. As Gerry's mind had to walk the plank first for his
body to follow, my mind must achieve my goals first, and then my body will
follow.
So what do I see for me today? Do I see myself becoming a more
effective leader by applying some of this knowledge to my own life?
I know my mind must
conceive and believe my corporate objectives. It happens first
through positive simulations, then my body will achieve them automatically.
But when I work daily
and don't believe, that’s called stress. I need to be process-
or activity-oriented, to happily achieve, rather than achieve to be happy.
Why? Because my work is bringing me closer to the realization
of my dreams. When I find joy in something, I perform it well.
When it ceases to be fun, my
performance suffers. Yet if I think I enjoyed it because I did
it well, I’ve got it backwards. I did it well because I enjoyed it.
One of the keys to my success is to
develop the discipline to enjoy doing those activities necessary to
succeed, because I will succeed better with less stress.
The body achieves what the mind has rehearsed. Why? Because
my performance is determined by my self-image. My self-image is formed
by the age of twelve,
though I'd never think of letting a 12-year-old run my life.
I can modify my self-image by using my imagination to simulate. I'm
going to get cranked up to improve it,
no matter where I am today.
Remember, simulation predicts and perpetuates my performance in advance. The best way to predict the future is to create it.
Albert Einstein, “Imaginations is more important than knowledge.”
Phil Mickelson, Professional golfer, was interviewed after he won the
Hartford Open in July 2001.
The news commentator asked him, “What do you attribute your success
too?” He said, “I didn’t physically play golf all week, I mentally
rehearsed every shot in my
imagination.”
Psycholinguistics-Self-Management Skill
The Science of Self–Talk
Why do some people achieve almost impossible goals in the face of insurmountable
odds?. Why do some people constantly pull themselves back up and
others give
up and stay right where they are? Why do some people live lives
that are full and rewarding while other people let the best in life pass
right on bye? What separates
the winners in life from the average in life? Is there one difference
that I can actually make in my life?
I know I can use mental imagery or simulation, but how can I exercise
the left side of the brain to help me be more effective? Before sharing
the second
self-management skill, read this brief story.
There was a man in the supermarket with a 2-year-old child in his cart.
The child was screaming, wanting to go home. The father was saying,
“Calm down Harvey,
it’s OK. We’ll be going home in a few minutes. We’ll play
games, watch Big Bird and Barney on TV ... relax Harvey!” A woman
saw this and came over to
compliment him on the patience he had with his son. Smiling the
gentleman replied, “I’m Harvey!”
Do I talk to myself? Yes! Do I answer myself? Yes!
Do I say 'ugh' to the answer? Not quite. Seriously, we all
talk to ourselves. My brother Ron says he likes to
talk to himself because he likes talking with intelligent people!
Whatever a person’s reason for talking to himself or herself, the science
is called Psycholinguistics. It is the science of self-talk.
This is an exciting technique for
attaining a healthier, more positive, increasingly productive self-image.
Just as my performance in life is determined by my self-image, my self-image
can be formed in
my imagination through self-talk.
What I say before a performance is equally important as what I say after
a performance. Before a performance I always say, “I can see myself
achieving that.”
Then I play the perfect execution in my imagination. When my
performance is correct, I say, “That’s like me; the next time I’ll do the
same thing.” If my
performance is poor, my self-talk is, “That’s not like me; the next
time I will do it correctly." Then I replay it over in my imagination
correctly. In this way my
self-talk predicts and perpetuates my performance in advance.
It controls my emotions, causing a change in behavior and performance.
Current research on the effect of words and images on the functions
of the body offers amazing evidence of the power that words, spoken at
random, can have on
body functions. Since biofeedback equipment shows that thoughts
can raise and lower body temperature, secrete hormones, relax muscles and
nerve endings, dilate
and constrict arteries, and raise and lower pulse rate, it is obvious
that I need to control the language I use on myself. Every waking
moment I must feed my
subconscious self-images, positive thoughts about my performances and
myself. I must do this so relentlessly and vividly that my self-images
are in time modified to
conform to the new, higher standards.
This is why winners rarely put themselves down in actions or in words.
Losers fall into the trap of saying, “I can’t,” “I’m a klutz,” “I wish.”
“Yeah, but,” or “I
shoulda." Winners use constructive feedback and self-talk every
day: “I can,” “I look forward to,” “next time,” “I’ll get it right,” or
"I’m feeling better.” These
conscious thoughts, pictures, and words create subconscious realities.
I will become what I believe most about myself. What I say when
I talk to myself will determine my success or failures in almost every
circumstance in my life. This
self-talk is a left brain function. It comes from the cognitive,
analytical, verbal, side of the brain. The key fact to understand
in programming my self-image is to talk
to myself positively in the first person and present tense. This
will positively impact my self-image or performance permanently.
You can now understand why this
book is written in the first person, present tense.
For example, let’s say I believe I am an ineffective leader. Then
my self-talk statement would be, “I am a highly effective leader.”
Let’s say I lack compassion when
dealing with people. My statement would be, “I am compassionate
when dealing with my people.” If I have a difficulty in dealing with
negative situations, I would
say, “I enjoy responding positively to negative situations”.
I used this technology in eating healthy. My diet was poor 15 years
ago. My affirmation today is, "I enjoy maintaining healthy eating
habits." Doctors told me for
years to drink more than 1 or 2 glasses of water per day. My
affirmation today is, “I find great pleasure in drinking 80-100 ounces
of refreshing water daily”. So I
find it amusing when people say you can’t change anyone. I have
maintained healthy eating habits for over 10 years and I drink a minimum
of 80 ounces of water
daily. We all can change.
To see how powerful self-talk can be, look at golfer Tiger Woods.
At age 12 he would lie on his bed listening to a tape recording of himself
saying, "I believe in
myself. I am focused and determined. My will is my greatest
asset. I am a champion."
Did this work? Well, he was the first amateur to win 3 consecutive
US Amateur Championships. He was the youngest player to win the Masters
(1997) – the
largest margin of victory in the 20th Century – and the first Afro-American
to win the Masters.
Believe and Achieve
As a successful person I habitually use positive self-talk. I
repeatedly tell myself what I truly want to become. I form a clear
mental picture of what I want to
achieve. And I stay with it until my desires become reality.
Unsuccessful people on the other hand victimize themselves with negative
self-talk, worries, and doubts.
They find all sorts of reasons why their dreams can’t come true.
They convince themselves of their failures in advance.
I realize as a winner that the single most important key to my success
is to take control of my own thoughts. I won’t give you vague theories
or philosophies.
Instead I will communicate the actual words I use when I talk to myself
positively. When I think about something I’d like to change or accomplish
in my life - maybe
I’d like to get in better shape physically, relax more easily, or increase
my income. No matter what it is I want to accomplish - when I learned
how to talk to myself
about it I’ll be taking the most important step I can take to actually
achieving what I want.
Excellence in Leadership is telling myself over and over again with
words, pictures and emotions that I’m winning each personal victory now!
Sometimes I’m
aware of my self-talk and simulations, but most often I am not.
I have two hemispheres of my brain. The left-brain is programmed
by positively stating what I want in the first person, present tense.
Seeing what I want in my
imagination, then acting as if I have achieved what I saw programs
the right brain. Then I begin to feel the emotions associated with
having achieved what I saw.
Then I will become that person I imagined myself to be. I see
it, act it, feel it and become it. I act my way into feelings. This
takes 10 seconds to 20 years to work,
depending on the difficulty of the goal.
Behavioral psychology informs us that our behavior and feelings are
compatible. If I act happy I will begin to feel happy. If I
express an emotion I feel the emotion,
so outward behavior triggers inner feelings. It is why Tiger
Wood’s father said to him, “Your competition is not important, but your
thoughts and emotions are!”
The best examples of how behavior triggers emotions are displayed by
the employees at Walt Disney. If you ever have the opportunity, do
the following: ask a
sweeper, "How do you like being a sweeper, following horse drawn carriages
and picking up manure?" Their response will be, "I'm not a sweeper.
I'm an actor.
I'm one of the cast members whose job it is to act like a sweeper."
These employees act their way into feelings. They play the role of a happy, dedicated, motivated, positive employee. Guess who they then become?
If I act the part I desire to achieve, then I become the part. William James put it this way: “We are happy because we sing, we don’t sing because we are happy.”
When I say, see, and act happy, I feel happy. When I say, see,
and act terrific, I feel terrific. When I say, see, and act confident,
I feel confident. When I act like
an effective leader I will become an effective leader. When I
act enthusiastic, I become enthusiastic! Try power walking, running
or playing an active sport like
basketball or tennis while your down or depressed. Say, “I’m
depressed, I’m depressed.” It’s hard to stay down. Why? Because
actions trigger positive feelings!
So, I could say that my behavior and performance on the job is a manifestation
of how I feel about myself. Productive people are happy people, not
in reverse. It’s
not the company’s job to make me happy it’s mine. Jack Welch,
CEO of GE, said “High energy, positive people will run General Electric.”
You may ask "Why a
high energy person?"
Let me explain the Essence of Survival. “Every morning in Africa
a Gazelle wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the fastest
Lion or it will be killed. Every
morning a Lion wakes up. It knows it must outrun the slowest
Gazelle or it will starve to death. It doesn’t matter whether you
are a Lion or a Gazelle. When the
Sun comes up, you’d better be running.”
I’d better run daily if I want to win in life. If I need to run,
then I need to be high energy. I need motivation and an endless amount
of enthusiasm for life, coupled
with relentless endurance, tenacity and perseverance.
I was not a high-energy person in my youth, but I became one. How did I enhance my energy level?
It starts when I go to bed. There is a right way and wrong way
to go to bed at night, and a right way and wrong way to get up in the morning.
The worst thing I can
do in the evening is to watch the 11:00 news. In 15 minutes I'm
likely to observe a synopsis of all the most criminal, violent, tragic
events in the world. What kind of
sense does that make? I want to have a restful sleep, and I just
programmed my mind with stress, anxiety and pain.
In some cases the fire that burns another warms the heart of the observer.
It reminds them they're not the victims of the day. The bad news
is good news in
reverse. That means there are people who need to see tragedy
to feel good about their mediocre and average lives.
Instead I can spend 30 minutes listening to relaxing music or reading
my favorite book, watching an uplifting TV show, or spending 30 minutes
reading this book.
Remember if I put garbage in, I get garbage out. If I deposit positive
thoughts, then I get positive results.
So now it is morning. I just had a restful eight hours of sleep and my alarm goes off. Is that the first thing I want in the morning, to be alarmed? No!
Do I have a radio alarm? That sounds fine until I wake up to the
words, “I can’t smile without you," or, "You're no good, you're no good,
baby you're no good.” I
may as well give up, because I'd be programming myself to fail.
That first song heard in the morning is hummed all day, and its words create
feelings in the body.
Instead I can engage in a performance ritual every morning – these are
positive habits of behavior that will have a positive effect on my mind
and body. I imagine
meeting my best friend, who admires me and tells me how great I am.
Wouldn’t I have a great day then? Sure I would. But since my
best friend is not always
there, I can wake up and listen to my best friend speaking to me on
a cassette or CD in my “opportunity clock” that says, “You are incredible
and you know who
I’m talking about. You’ve got it and every day you get more of
it. You have personality, charm and good looks, talents, skills and
abilities. You set goals and you
reach them.”
I feel great about my day and myself when I listen to uplifting, positive
messages about me first thing in the morning. That’s right, I have
a better day and a more
productive day.
Next I jump out of bed and clap my hands. This is a trigger mechanism
to remind me about the common denominator of success. I am willing
to do those
activities and behaviors the average person does not want to engage
in. This may seem silly but it’s fun. Then I say, “I feel happy,
I feel healthy, I feel terrific. It’s
going to be another great day today.” “I’m looking forward to
presenting my program to AT&T/Automatic Data Processing/Savin/Coca-Cola
or meeting with
Glenn/Allan/Regina/Ron/Bob/Sandy/Larry/Judy" or whomever I will be
communicating with that day.
“I expect a great day,” “Something wonderful is going to happen to me
today.” Why would I ever leave my home unless I expected something
good would
happen? Remember, I become what I think about all day long.
I realize that this is unconventional behavior I am engaging in, so if
you're married, be aware your
spouse may think you have become neurotic. It takes a lot of
confidence. If necessary, you can do the silent cheer. You
can say it to yourself or think it.
I then jump in the shower and begin saying, “Do it now! Do it now!"
fifty times. Then I say, “I would rather attempt to do something
great and fail, than attempt to
do nothing and succeed. I feel strong and stronger every day
in every way.”
Do I want to improve my effectiveness level? Do I want to improve the chances I will achieve my corporate and personal goals in my life? Then read the following:
Dr. Emile Coue was a physician in France who cured many of the terminally
ill patients he worked with. He would sit them down and ask them, “Do you
want to
live?” The answer was yes. Do you love your family?
Yes. He needed to develop desire in the patients before he informed
them what they had to do to live. He
would say the following: “I’m going to give you eleven words to say
tomorrow morning, when you awaken, and if you say these words it will increase
the chances
that you will live; and they will help you to attain your lifetime
goals.” “Will you say the 11 words?” They would all respond
in the affirmative. “Before I give you the
words you must understand there are two stipulations.” “One,
you must say the words aloud, and two, you must say them 20 times.”
As you know, many did not
say them because of the lack of discipline and the embarrassment with
family members. Would you say them? Here they are!
“Day by day in every way I’m getting better and better." Again,
say them aloud 20 times daily. Then he would say the following statement
to his patients,
which I'm sure, stunned them as it stunned me.
“Say these 11 words daily and your situation in life will be improved
even if you don’t believe what you’re saying.” I cannot explain it.
I can only share with you
what I believe. When they repeated these affirmations they created
a biochemical change in the body that positively effected mind and body.
It is interesting to note a personal example. I presented several
seminars to Bell Atlantic (Verizon), and one in particular I will always
remember. A manager had
recommended that we present the seminar on a Saturday morning so they
could share this positive experience with spouses, children and family
members. Our first
impression was that people wouldn't want to attend on their own time.
The results proved this false.
We were at the Sheraton in Springfield, Mass and 700 people attended.
During the break two women came up to me and said, “We had cancer.
Our doctor
taught us how to complement our chemotherapy and radiation therapy.
He instructed us to recite the following statement 20 times a day, aloud,
“Day by day in
every way I’m getting better and better!” “We’re survivors today.”
This stuff is great. I love it.”
Obviously I’m sharing a lot of information, a lot of ways to engage
the left brain to positively impact my life. I’m not suggesting that
I do everything daily. I may take
one idea and use it today to positively impact my life, because I know
it’s difficult to maintain the discipline to do everything.
Have you ever gone to bed at 2:00 AM and had to get up at 6:00 and present
at 8:00? You were anxious and restless all night and had 3 or 4 hours
sleep, and you
woke up with a head the size of a watermelon. What can you do?
I can jump out of bed and scream, "I feel happy, I feel healthy and
I feel terrific! I can fake it until I make it!" I must understand
that I didn’t fake out my boss. I
actually faked out my subconscious self-image. Whatever I say
and do is recorded by my self-image as facts. I act the part to become
the part.
My performance is determined by my self-image; my self-image is formed in my imagination through the repetition of positive simulations and self- talk statements.
I call this Scientific Mental Technology. It's mechanical – it
just is – no conjecture or opinion is involved here. I have achieved
my present goals because of my
mental pictures and self-talk of the past. The function of my
thought is a magnetic force to attract my goals. The question I should
have at this time is, "How do I
control the conscious mind (thoughts) to consistently use my success
mechanism (positive simulations and positive self-talk statements) to attract
my goals?" To
answer this, I needed to develop a daily dynamic “Mental Maintenance
System,” a Renewal Process.
Before I share this technology, let’s recall a scene in the movie The
Karate Kid. In it the boy, Daniel, is competing against a bully and
is kicked illegally. Daniel is
down, the confidence drains from his face and his sensei, Mr. Miagi,
must come out to the mat to help him. Even though he has trained
for months, Daniel is now
saying, “I want to quit and go home.” The sensei slams his fist
against the mat to get his student's attention and says, "The karate inside
you. Let it out, Daniel-san,
you must focus!”
At that moment Daniel hit a turning point, and his intensity and concentration
became outstanding. He stood up and began to do his kata, his basic
exercises. He
managed to stay on his feet, and through his focus he won the point.
Anytime I’m in trouble or I feel I’m not effective, I, too, go back
to the basics. I go back to my simulations and self-talk statements
I am rehearing in my
imagination. I need to Focus 2: one on my goals to be achieved,
and two on the rewards of success I feel when they are achieved.
I do this by utilizing the Law of Repetition – spaced learning or spaced
repetition education. It assists me in changing my behavior permanently.
What effect does
spaced repetition have on me? Advertisers use it daily so consumers
will remember to buy their products. Can I complete the following
statements?
"Please don’t squeeze the _______."
"Trix are for ____."
"Coke is the real _____."
Many advertisements I have not heard for years, but I respond immediately
because it was learned through the repetition of hearing 30-second advertisements
on
radio or TV. My behavior was changed because of this.
There's a humorous side, too. Two teenagers are flunking music.
To play in their championship game they had to pass a Music Appreciation
course. Their teacher
put both in a room and had them listen to "Old McDonald" 20 times over.
It was now time for the exam, and there was only one question: "Old McDonald
had a
____." One teen said, "I don't know what it is." The other
said back, "That's easy, it's a farm. But I don't know how to spell
it." The first teen grinned knowingly.
"I do: E-I-E-I-O."
Dr. Maxwell Maltz wrote a book-titled Psychocybernetics dealing with
self-image behavioral modification, or how to develop a new habit pattern.
To change
behavior permanently I need to engage in the new behavior for 21 days
consecutively. Every psychologist in the world agrees that it takes
21-28 days to change or
form a new behavior or habit – or in my case a modified and improved
self-image.
So now I need to develop two habits. The first is the habit of
reviewing this material daily, because if it's out of sight, then it is
out of mind. The second habit is to
simulate the achievement of my goals daily and the rewards of success,
because my body achieves what my mind has rehearsed.
I do this through a daily performance ritual called CPI3030. It
is a do-it-to-myself program, a self-image behavior modification system.
I read this book for 30
minutes a day for 30 days consecutively, Continuous Performance Improvement.
Want to have more fun, try the 3030 Power Formula, which is read this book
or
listen or watch the my CDs of this book recorded before a live audience,
you do this while you are exercising at the same time. This process helps
me develop new
positive habits or assists me in focusing on my personal and professional
goals. It is my kata for success, my own daily maintenance system
that keeps me focused.
Too often when people are producing they neglect to take time for a
systematic program for self-renewal. I believe without this discipline
the body becomes weak,
and the person selfish. It’s the Law of the Harvest: I reap as
I sow. I will enjoy a successful harvest when I cultivate these mental
skills, habits, and human qualities
of highly effective people. Daily.
Practicing 30 minutes per day for a minimum 30 days attains Continuous
Performance Improvement. Each participant in my seminars is given
a 3-audio cassette
album or CD album, and a 3-video CD-ROM album. I do not sell
them, but instead give them to each participant. The presentation
will overwhelmingly convince
them to listen to them daily, a disciplined follow up program to maximize
retention weeks, months, and years after the seminar. Permanent behavior
change is
maintained by following through on the process of reading daily or
listening/watching the CDs. I personally believe it takes months to effect
a permanent change. My
personal joy is when I get calls weekly from past students who inform
me that they have been listening for five, ten, or 15 years. It's
not so much that the recordings
are teaching them anything; it's what they remind them to do.
This is not a quick fix overnight success program. The building
process is reflected in the gradual improvement of the knowledge acquired
in the program. It allows
me to maintain the mindset of a highly effective person – a winner
– and over a period of time I develop better behaviors, attitudes, and
characteristics that will help
me overcome my self-imposed limitations and deal with adversity in
reaching my predetermined goals.
Most importantly, the process will help me to implement the knowledge
and maintain the feelings acquired in the seminar for months and years
later. People ask me
what I do to stay up and focused when I am not actually presenting
a seminar. I read my notes daily for one hour; I live CPI3030.
My notes are now this book, so
this book is my CPI3030. Yes, you can also do more than 30 minutes
per day.
The 3030 acts as a catalyst for self-improvement. As a result
habit patterns are formed: I tap the Olympian within and learn the secrets
of Excellence in
Leadership to overcome obstacles and setbacks. I now possess
the tools to command my ideal performance state at will. I will enter
the “zone”.
This is not difficult to understand and implement. Then why is
it that less than 10% of the population actually follow through daily on
using this type of knowledge?
Here is a story to illustrate it:
A woman of about 75 years of age was sitting
on a bench, sobbing her eyes out. I stopped to ask what was wrong
and she said, "I have a wonderful husband
at home. He gets up every morning and
makes me pancakes, sausage, and fresh fruit and freshly brewed coffee.”
I asked, “Well, then, why are you crying?”
She kept on talking: “He makes me homemade
soup for lunch, and my favorite brownies for dessert, and then we just
sit and talk for half the afternoon.”
Again I asked why she was crying, but she
kept on lamenting her woes. “For dinner he makes me a gourmet meal,
with wine and my favorite dessert, and
then he takes me dancing with all our friends.”
Dumbfounded, I asked her, "Well, why in the world would you be crying?”
She looked up at me and said, "I
can’t remember where I live!"
I believe that the majority of people I meet believe this is good stuff
to do and implement daily, but they can’t remember to do it after a seminar
or reading a book
once. They forget to do it. I have known many people who
have gone to a very informative and stimulating program on professional
development and said during
the program, “This is great, I’m going to do that when I get home,"
or, "I will begin it Monday morning when I go to work.”
They have all the good intentions in the world, but don’t follow through.
The reason is if it is out of sight, it is out of mind. We are not
smart enough to remember
everything we know. We honestly forgot to do it. Unless
I am reminded daily, I will also forget to implement this material.
So I must develop a lifestyle change. Before I complete this book,
it is essential for me to make a decision that will impact my entire future.
Will I read this book for
30 minutes daily for at least 30 days? I now see why Character
Integrity was introduced to me in the beginning of this book. It
is the foundation of my success.
If I say I will and don’t, it’s not because I was busy or I forgot.
That is the superficial reason for why people don’t follow through.
The real reason is because I lack
Character Integrity and this is very difficult for me to understand
and accept. It’s easier to fluff it off and say, "I’m not disciplined,"
"I don’t have the time," or, "If I
was only more motivated."
When I make a commitment to myself – whether it is to read this book
starting tomorrow or start a diet after the new year – if I don't follow
through the reason is I
simply lack integrity. When I make a promise to myself and I
don’t follow through, I am not a person of my word. I accept this,
and now I'm going to do something
about it. I have decided to maintain a high standard of integrity
from this moment on. I am making a promise and commitment to myself
to follow through.
Habits
I understand that the only difference between those who have failed
and those who have succeeded lies in the difference of their habits.
Good habits are the key to
my success. The first rule I must live by is that I will form
this good habit of feeding my mind healthy, positive, uplifting thoughts
daily.
Also, Most people know how to win. What this material will do
is teach me how to activate my brain to win consistently. It is difficult
to have a permanent,
consistent change in behavior and performance unless I utilize a disciplined,
daily support system (CPI3030). Self-renewal is the key. The
repetitive action of
listening or reading will help me over come discouragement.
I realize I must give before I receive. The benefits will be incredible
in my life. My confidence will grow, my attitude will become superior,
and my problems will get
smaller because my self-doubt will disintegrate. Why is this
vital? Because the major reason why individuals don’t achieve their
dreams is not because they don’t
know how, but because they get discouraged and give up. They
don’t follow through.
That’s why it is so important to be disciplined on a daily basis to reinforce this knowledge.
You might be curious to hear what is on the audio/video programs I give
out at my seminars. The answer is everything that's in this book.
In fact, this is book is
better than my live seminar because at any point you can turn back
the pages and reread a point if you want to. You can put it down
when you need time to reflect
on it. You can even read sections out of order if you want to
reinforce a specific concept.
Relaxation
If I am not relaxed and in a secure place such as my home, study, office,
or car, the reading will have less benefit. The pathway to
my subconscious is relaxation.
Relaxation dramatically improves performance by eliminating the internal
distractions to concentration (focus) mentioned earlier: worry, fear, skepticism,
and
self-doubt.
Think about this for a moment. A 30-second advertisement on the
radio or TV changes people’s behaviors to buy a product for five dollars
or fifty thousand
dollars. If I read this book for a minimum of 30 minutes a day
for 30 days, what effect will it have on my behavior and self-image?
It just may develop a new habit,
a new memory, or new positive feelings needed to take action and achieve
my dreams.
My guarantee to myself is that my effectiveness in my life and the probability
that I will achieve my lifetime dreams will climb providing I continue
to read or listen on
a daily basis.
I should be aware of Dr. Coue’s research on the Law of Reverse Effect.
If I should have self-doubt and I constantly question the results I will
receive while
following CPI3030,- The harder I try, the harder it becomes to change
or improve myself. Remember that I should read or listen in a relaxed,
fun state. Relaxation
is the pathway to the subconscious.
I have many enthusiastic students who listen for one to two hours a
day while driving to and from their job. I would never discourage
them. But please let me share
this story.
I had an appointment with an executive at the John Hancock building
in Boston. I informed him that his glass building is extremely beautiful.
The reason why it was
able to soar so high is not because of what we could see above the
ground. Instead it’s what is under the ground: the layers of steel
beams, concrete, and the depth
of the foundation determines the height of the building. The
accumulation of beams and concrete decide the height.
It’s the Law of Accumulation. It’s not the listening and reading
for one, 2 or 3 consecutive hours that has more impact on changing my behavior
or self-image,
(imagined self). It’s best to space my reading/ listening.
I would rather read/listen for 30 minutes in the AM and 30 minutes in the
PM, than read/listen for one to 2
hours straight. Even worse is reading/listening for 3 hours today,
and not reading/listening until 3 days later. Repetition is the key,
not duration. To modify my
self-image, daily repetition is the key not duration.
My performance is determined by self-image, my self-image is formed
in my imagination through the repetition of perfect execution by recreating
past and future
successes through positive simulations and self-talk statements. I
may not achieve perfection, but I will attain excellence, the relentless
pursuit of excellence! The
“relentless pursuit of perfect performance.”
My personal development is the springboard to personal excellence.
It’s interesting to note that when I emotionalize my thoughts when utilizing
simulations and self
talk, it has 100 times the impact to imprint my goals on the subconscious
memory banks to change behavior and improve my performance.
Let me give an example: I know exactly where I was when John Kennedy
was shot. I was in my high school typing class, Tony Chinappi was
sitting next to me, and
I had on a gray sweater my Mother knitted. The moment was
extremely emotional. What emotional event in your life do you remember
vividly and with great
detail?
I get emotional about this stuff, because I’m talking about my future
and lifetime dreams. There are two groups of people who are usually
good at this emotional
behavior, who create a high energy level. The first are extremely
high achievers. I remember seeing the excitement in a locker room
before a Super Bowl Game,
or the excitement on the sidelines. The players' expressions
are extremely high energy and passionate. When we are associated
with a winning team, the response is
the same. Winners are extremely emotional. When we emotionalize
our winning through simulations and self-talk, it becomes internalized
and has a greater impact
on our end results.
The question I have is do we become emotional before we win or after
we win? Obviously, before. Then why do so many people have
difficulty in emotionalizing
the goals they want to achieve? I believe that they lack self-confidence
in expressing this emotion.
The second group of people who emotionalize their simulations and self-talk
are depressed/discouraged people. They see themselves losing and
being depressed,
sad and lonely, and they articulate this by saying “I hate myself and
my job,” and “I can’t see myself being happy. I’m always depressed.”
They say this in a highly
emotional state, reinforcing this poor self-image.
Let me share the power of emotion. A Pastor in the Church wanted
to get a raise. The Bishop was visiting one Sunday, and during his
sermon the Pastor sang out,
“I am the Pastor in this Church and I earn $250.00 a week and this
is not enough.”
Next the Assistant Pastor leaped off his seat and sang, “I am the Assistant Pastor in this church and I earn $125.00 a week and this is not enough EITHER!”
Then the organist jumped off his bench with great emotion and excitement,
like he was honestly enthused about being there and playing for the parish
every week.
He then began to sing, “I am the organist of this church, and I earn
five hundred dollars a week, and there is no business like show business
I know!”
I know that there is no business like this that I know. I believe
I am truly blessed to do what I do. I have a sincere passion to grow
and help others to grow. I am a
changing, growing, learning human being. My mind is open to learn.
What I’m saying is that when I utilize my personal simulations and self-talk
repetitively, I do it with emotion and fun in mind. I treat it like
I'm a child again, playing a
game of pretend. Then learning and growth will occur. Play
or practice is most rare and potentially the most powerful. For any
meaningful interplay between the
conscious and subconscious/ play or practice is essential to train
the subconscious. My conscious thoughts create subconscious realities.
The Carnegie Institute of technology did a research study with 1500
engineers and uncovered a most important and significant fact. Dr.
David McClelland also
confirmed this fact when he was a Professor at Harvard University in
Cambridge, MA. The study lasted 25 years and asked the question,
“What are the
contributing factors that are most responsible for one’s financial
success, accomplishments, and promotions?” The results are surprising even
for engineers, where
technical knowledge is dominant.
Fifteen percent of success is due to one’s technical knowledge – aptitude,
talent, and ability eighty-five percent is due to skills in human engineering.
These skills
include: being a visionary, accountability, empowerment, excellence,
change/orientation, adaptability, being a team player, motivation, attitude,
and
communication/human relation skills.
So, winning and excellence are derived from human qualities – which
are a right brain functions – rather than technical-knowledge – a left-brain
function. When my
attitudes are right, my abilities will catch up. What I mean
is attitude control, which states that my thoughts create stress not the
events.
That means any time I think a problem is out there, the problem is really
my thought. If I should get discouraged, my interpretation is that
people are mad at me or
upset with me. My perception is I have a problem. However,
the reality is they have a problem. I must not take stressful events
personally, but that’s how others
honestly feel: that stress should be taken personally. By reading
this book I’ve decided I need to learn how to respond positively to distress.
I need to learn how to
change my behavior. I am not my behavior. I now realize
that my emotions determine my behavior and performance.
How can I control my emotions? I mentioned before that my actions
and thoughts are driven into the subconscious mind to develop the feelings
to alter my behavior
and then improve my performance.
Dorothy Brand, in 1935, wrote an intriguing book titled Wakeup and Live.
In it she said, “Go confidently in the direction of your dreams, act as
if it were
impossible to fail, act your way into feeling.”
I began to realize that my feelings determine my success, more than
what I know does. This led to several more questions. Where
do positive feelings or positive
emotions and energy originate in the human body? And how can I create
and control them at will? If my thoughts determine my emotions, which
in turn determines
my behaviors and performance in life, then it would seem to be a very
valuable skill to learn how to control my emotions through my thoughts.
Knowing this will
offer me the opportunity to achieve more personal success.
It is a fact that certain thoughts actually change my brain and blood
chemistry to make me a better or worse performer. Only now I actually
know how to use my
thoughts so that my body and mind will consistently perform at peak
levels.
Bio-behavioral scientists, endocrinologists, and biochemists tell me
that my simulations and self-talk controls my emotions by stimulating neuro-chemicals
in my
brain. The fact is, I have 60 neurotransmitters more powerful
than street-grade heroin. I possess biochemical individuality.
And as I’m thinking I’m generating new molecules. To think is
to practice brain chemistry; my chemicals are equivalent to thoughts.
My cells speak to each other
through chemical messengers. In the simplest of terms, this is
how it works.
All my nerve impulses pass from my body to the right and left hemispheres
of my brain and into my limbic gland, at the base of my brain. This
is the Limbic System,
what I call a circulating nervous system. It is the seat of human
emotions; biochemically speaking, this is the link between my mind and
body.
When I play recordings in my brain of positive simulations and self-talk
statements – activating my Success Mechanism – the mind summons a massive
flow of
intense positive energy when meeting a challenge. The biochemical
changes that occur as a result of these positive emotions make me more
effective, different,
faster, smarter, better at solving problems, calmer in managing change,
and full of energy. Best of all, they are generated by my positive
simulations and self-talk.
The chemistry of billions of cells throughout my body – especially those
in my central nervous system – will change in response to what I imagine.
When I produce
images in my mind, I am in control of the changes taking place in my
body. Each internal energy state has a corresponding mental image;
I can move from state to
state by invoking the proper image through simulations and psycholinguistics
(self-talk). This can allow the impulse to pass twice as fast from
the brain (mind) to
muscles (body).
The neurotransmitters or messengers stimulated are called enkaphalins/beta
endorphins. They are 195 times more potent than morphine, and they
act as an opiate
drug. The release of this fuel or enzyme results in positive
winning feelings. It enhances my motivation to overcome self-imposed
limitations, sustains my effort, and
gives me persistence to triumph over discouragement. Through
it I become mentally alert, I have more energy and enthusiasm, and my stress
is reduced because my
mental and physical pain is lowered. I am able to maintain my
Ideal Performance State, which aids in my quest to be an effective leader.
The bottom line is what I think has a bearing on how I feel. So
my daily goal should be to internalize high performance thought patterns
through the repetition of
relentless positive simulations and positive self-talk statements.
I will increase my performance and my energy level.
Therefore, I can say that stress is a biochemical reaction due to my
interpretation of the environment. Stress is not what happens to
me, but it’s my inappropriate
response to what happens to me. Stress is not in my environment,
stress is not inside me, but it’s my interpretation or perception of my
environment. This is one
way to reduce my stress, by changing my thoughts.
Importance of Humor
Another way to reduce my stress and maintain a consistent high performance
level is to have a good sense of humor. Dr. Siegel, a Professor at
Yale University,
wrote an informative book: Love, Medicine & Miracles. He
states, “ … That laughter is the pulse of life. A good laugh exercises
the total body and releases
hormones throughout the bloodstream. Laughing is like an aerobic
workout.”
I learned recently that in India, there are 1000 Laughing Clubs.
People get together weekly to tell each other jokes and to laugh.
After several weeks no one had
any new jokes to tell. What do you think they did? They laughed
and laughed, and laughed.
Do you think you have a good sense of humor? Or are you the person who
says, “That’s an old joke, that’s corny, that’s hokie!” Loosen up.
I’d hate to be with
you on your honeymoon. The old jokes are still great! Let’s
find out how your sense of humor is.
To protect the innocent, allow me to put in the first name of some of my clients and family members in the following stories:
I asked Tony if my blinker in my car worked. He said yes-no, yes-no,
yes-no, yes-no, yes-no, yes-no...
Thank you for overreacting.
I was over Sandy’s house this past August. He was painting his
house, up on a ladder with two jackets on in 90 degree heat. “Sandy,
what are you doing up there
with two jackets on?” I asked him. “It’s OK Richard,” he shouted
down to me. “It’s says right here on the paint can to put on two
coats.
I realize that if I say boo those jokes or say “Ugh!” it’s because I’m
thinking from the left side of my brain, which is the critical judgmental
side. I want to exercise
the right side, the visionary, intuitive, communicative, fun, and laughing
side of the brain. So I need to get back over to the right side of
my brain AND LAUGH.
Gerry, came to work one day and I had to ask him, “Why do you have a
burn on your face?” He said, “We have a new game at McDonald’s called bobbing
for
French-fries.”
Rich came into work one day, and his face was squashed back in his head.
I asked, “What happened?” He said, “I hurt myself drinking milk.”
I asked, “How’d
you do that?” He said, “The cow sat on me!”
Ed said, “Its tough hiring motivated employees – I was interviewing
someone the other day and I asked him, “Who should I call if you get hurt
on the job?” He said,
“Call 911.”
Judy took me out to lunch to tell me about her company. Halfway
through lunch she stared and said, “May I ask you a personal question?
You’re a descent
looking man, so why are you still single? Are you too particular?”
“No,” I said, “They are.” “I know a lot of great women,” Judy said
back. “What are you
looking for?” “Someone strong, positive, and courageous.” So
she fixed me up with a Russian gymnast. Give me a break!
Mike was a deer hunter, and he just bought a new jeep with strobe lights. Why? So the deer would slow down.
Three men in the armed services together were stressed out. Their
Sergeant said, “ Stand up and strip.”
Sergeant asked the first person, Bill, “What were you in civilian life?”
Bill responded, “A carpenter Sir.” “OK building squad for you.”
He asked the second person, “Phil, what were you in civilian life?” Phil said, “I was a comedian.” “OK – military intelligence for you.”
The third person was Allan, who was real nervous. The sergeant
asked Allan, “What were you in civilian life?” He said, “uh, uh, uh, uh…”
“OK, it’s a machine
gunner in the paratroopers for you.”
Laughter is great stuff; having a great sense of humor has helped me
get though some difficult times in my life, but its not the only activity
that secretes positive
enzymes. What else does? Getting a raise, a vacation, winning
the lottery, getting married, going on a honeymoon, having a baby, reading
this material, making a
sale, or listening to uplifting and positive audio/video CD’s.
But I have to be realistic. I can’t wait until one of these events
takes place before I have positive winning feelings. What I needed
to learn is the common factor
among all these events that secrete the enzymes.
The million-dollar question is, “What activates the positive secretions?” Let me give you a hint. It’s not the event!
Let me share with you the time my friend Dan called to invite me to
climb Mt. Wachusett with him. He knew I feared height. He persisted
positively, finally
persuading me. Then when we did climb the mountain, I’ve got
to say it was invigorating. We were observing the view, and a tiny
baby bear cub came out from
behind a rock. It was so cute that we played with it, and in
5 seconds we both looked at each other and said. “Where is the mother?”
At that moment, appearing from behind a boulder at the edge of the trees,
there she was: a 10 foot, black, voracious bear up on her hind legs.
We were petrified.
Her fangs were six inches long, the claws were eight inches long, and
saliva was dripping from her mouth – probably because she was simulating
eating us. We
started running down the other side of the rock-strewn mountainside,
the mother bear on our tail. Suddenly Dan stopped halfway down and
took his Reebok
running shoes out of his knapsack. I screamed at him in terror
and said, “Dan you’re never going to outrun that bear!” “I know,
Richard,” he said, “but I can outrun
you.”
What Dan had was tremendous optimism. It’s the common factor among
all the other events I listed, whether it be going on a vacation or achieving
my dreams and
goals in life.
Optimism is Gary, who invites me to play golf. He wears two pairs of pants. Why? In case he gets a hole in one.
The incredible power of optimism was shown in 1977 when doctors in England
went on strike for 7 weeks. The death toll went down by 40% because
patients said
to themselves, “I’m not going to die until the doctor returns.”
That proves my belief system becomes my biology. When my emotions
are positive, optimistic thoughts, that indicates that I have 100% belief
and self-esteem. My
brain and cells throughout my body then secrete millions of dollars
of enkaphalins and beta-endorphins, to maintain a healthy mind and body
to achieve a highly
effective state or peak performance.
I could say that optimistic expectancy psychosomatically (pysho=mind,soma=body)
leads me toward a better life by creating a natural high to help me withstand
pain, overcome depression, turn stress into energy, give me the power
to persist.
Paul Chambers, the CEO of Cisco Systems, stated the following: “I’m
an optimist – we own 85% of the market – switches and routers (Sept.1999).”
I wonder if
he became an optimist after he got 85% of the market? Or did
his optimism drive his company to achieve 85% of the market?
I look at the incredible support now available for being optimistic,
particularly during challenging times in my life. The facts are that
optimists live longer than
pessimists. Occasionally pessimists are more accurate, but they
don’t live. So what good are they? Chronic and terminal illnesses
are three times higher among
pessimists after age 45. One out of three Americans get cancer,
but only one out of seven athletes get cancer. This biological value
of positive feelings has scientific
validity today.
Psychosomatic Medicine
I’ve read about Psychosomatic Medicine, which studies how the mind controls
the body. It’s main principle is that many diseases are not caused
by germs.
Everyone has germs, but only a few people get sick. Thus, many
diseases are closely related to my reaction to life. Dr. Siegel says,
“99% of all illnesses are
emotionally induced.” My attitudes and emotions act as catalysts
that have an electrochemical effect on the body’s immune system.
I have a listening and thinking
immune system that responds to the emotions associated with my pictures
and self-talk statements. Therefore, emotional changes precede and
cause physiological
changes in my body.
Dr. Benson at Harvard Medical Center also says, “Our thought process
leads to good health or disease. A negative emotional state, such
as anger, depression,
pessimism, fear, self-doubt, worries, and stresses are associated with
illnesses and minimal quality standards. These thoughts weaken my
immune system; I become
vulnerable to disease and culminate into frequent sickness, accidents,
lower productivity, and early death. Anger is manifested in the body
as uneasy cells, or
dis-easy cells or diseased cells later on in life.”
Now lets look at positive emotional states, feelings or reactions.
They strengthen my immune system and reduce disease and sickness.
They increase longevity as
well as productivity.
A reporter asked Rose Kennedy in 1993, “There have been 4 tragic deaths
in your family. How can you be so cheerful?” She said, "The
Lord would not give me a
burden I could not handle. If a bird sings after a storm, why
shouldn't I?”
She is a practical tough-minded optimist, cheerful, even if there is no reason to be happy.
If someone should ask me why I’m so enthusiastic about my job or life,
I tell them I’m on a new drug called endorphins. They’ll ask me if
they can buy it and if it's
illegal. I inform them it flows naturally from within to optimists
as a primary ingredient for winning.
This is the good news about my thought patterns. With the good there is bad and the ugly. Here it comes!
There are also the pessimists in life. The definition of a pessimist
is a self-doubter; these skeptics possess fear caused by negative simulations
and negative self-talk
statements; they secret hormones called gluttaglicoids or cortisol,
which shuts down the left logical side of their brain, inhibits the thinking
process, causes a loss of
short term memory, and prevents the natural flow of endorphin.
Therefore they use the right emotional side of the brain to make decisions.
Intellectually speaking, isn’t it more intelligent to think optimistically,
a belief that things will work out, so I can be given the natural flow
of endorphins to help me
achieve my goals? Why would I want to be a pessimist and make
it more difficult to achieve my dreams in life?
Again, I must remind myself that stress is a biochemical reaction due
to my interpretation of the environment. Here are the manifestations
if my left brain should shut
down: I’m discouragement, depression, lethargy, complacency,
apathy, insecurity, and resentment.
This isn’t going to be easy. I have similar difficulties that many people have in being optimistic when dealing with tragic situations.
If I have some difficulty controlling my thoughts through simulations
and self-talk statements in difficult times, there is something else I
can do. I can go to Walt
Disney World and ride Space Mountain and I will secrete $5,000.00 worth
of enkaphalins and beta-endorphins. That is if I feel excitement
and fun. If I feel fear
and terror I’m a dead duck, because I’ll secrete gluttaglicoids or
cortisol.
Life is Paradoxical.
Here is the paradox in life: During good times in my life and career
I naturally secrete positive enzymes, but I don’t need them. During
the bad times in my life I
naturally secreted cortisol. I didn’t naturally secrete the good
enzymes, but I needed them. So what do the winners do? What
do the highly effective leaders do? I
had to learn how to manufacture positive optimistic thoughts during
bad times, by programming in my robot an audio and video of positive simulations
and self-talk
statements. I had to learn to do within when I was without.
It’s these recordings of good times that secrete the endorphins to keep
me going. I use my success mechanism, exactly as Major Nesmeth did
while a prisoner of
war. He had to play an Oscar winning performance from the past,
and if he didn’t have one he would preplay it from the future. He
also did within when he was
doing without.
I had to learn from Victor Frankl’s experiences at Auschwitz.
While in the concentration camp he replayed in his mind a simulation of
teaching his students the
lessons he was learning as he was being tortured.
I needed to learn the exact same success principle. When I’m going
through the most difficult times in my life I need to simulate the good
times that will be achieved.
It takes relentless persistence. I will simulate for a month,
a year, five, ten, or 20 years, it doesn’t matter how long.
Remember success is in the journey, not the destination. This
may seem difficult. However, look at the choices I have. I can live a negative,
depressed, pessimistic
life, thinking about problems constantly, or I can live a positive
optimistic life thinking about solutions. Which would I select?
I do have a choice.
It’s all in my winning attitude; it decides my success. There
is some consolation in the fact that I will deal with similar or the same
problems (challenges) in life that
everyone deals with. I should never say the words why me, because
it’s not just me. I may lose a job, I may hurt myself physically,
I may get divorced, I may
experience a death of a loved one, I may not believe in myself, I may
get into an accident, I may have low self-esteem, I may get fired, I may
get discouraged or
depressed, I may loose my license, I may get a speeding ticket, I may
lose a lot of money, or I may not think I can achieve a career goal in
my life.
I deal with the same challenges in my life as anyone else. The
difference between others and myself is how I respond to the challenges
or adversities. It’s not what
happens to me in my life, it’s how I take it! And that’s due
to my attitudes and beliefs about the challenges and myself.
I needed to learn how to manage my response or attitude by activating
my success mechanism (through positive simulations and positive self-talk)
to instinctively
react to situations in a manner that would provide me with the greatest
possible benefit. Particularly when dealing with difficult situations.
I didn’t want to be like a boy I met on a street corner, searching for
his lost fifty-cent piece. “Where did you lose it?” I asked.
He pointed across the street and
said, “Over there.” “Then why are you over here if you lost it
over there?” “The light is better over here.” “Son,” I said
to him, “you’re not going to find what
you’re looking for unless it’s where you’re looking.”
Read that again: I’m not going to find what I’m looking for unless it’s where I’m looking. I had to ask and answer the following questions for myself.
Do I want to be a more effective leader? Yes! Do I want to experience
less stress, worry, and anxiety about the future? Yes! Do I want to respond
positively to
negative situations in my life? Yes! Do I want to be fast,
flexible and focused in achieving my personal goals? Yes! Do
I want to live a happy more rewarding life?
Yes! Do I want to increase my performance effortlessly?
Yes!
My answers were all “yes!” I have the desire to learn, to grow.
I’m ready to develop or reaffirm to a greater extent the next self-management
human quality of
all-high achievers or highly effective leaders.
In review: the first mental skill that I possess is that I am visionary.
This is accomplished through maintaining positive simulations and self-talk
statements about my
future goals and myself. Also, I’m able to sustain myself consistently
because of my positive biochemistry through the use of optimistic thoughts
and a good sense of
humor.
I constantly remind myself that I am building a competency model
of all highly effective leaders. I classify myself as a leader whether
I am one person or I have a
team of 5 or 5000 people in my organization. I am the CEO of
my own company. I am responsible to myself, to be the best person
I can be.
The next vital human quality of all highly effective people is self-confidence.
A synonym is self-esteem.
Ralph Waldo Emerson calls it, “… the first secret of success, self-trust.”
Self-confidence/self-esteem/self trust is the most important determinant
of my success. It is the belief that I can achieve and that I deserve
to live a rewarding and
fulfilling life. I realize I was not born with physical and mental
attributes equal to others. I was, however, born with the equal right
to feel the excitement and joy in
believing that I deserve the very best in life. I believe in
my own worth, even when I have nothing but a dream to hold on to.
Perhaps more than any other quality,
healthy self-confidence/self-esteem is the door to high achievement
and happiness.
Optimal self-confidence is an internalized quality activity.
Jack Welch, CEO of General Electric states, “Giving people self-confidence
is the most important thing I
do!”
My self-confidence/self-esteem is the intrinsic value of what I can
do. My pride is the intrinsic value of what I did. My integrity
is the value I place on myself to
make and keep my commitments to others and myself. Self-esteem
is the foundation quality for high achievement. It’s expressed through
my desire, ambition, drive,
activity level, persistence, self-determination, and quality performance.
My level of self-esteem is decided by how much I respect, like, and
accept myself. My fear of rejection and failure is rooted in low
self-esteem. However, my
failures are not I. It is low self-confident/self-esteem people
who need the approval from others in an attempt to find self-worth.
I possess high self-esteem. I acknowledge my mistakes, correct
them, and learn from them. I do not empower the mistake of others
to determine my behavior;
instead I empower myself to go on. This is how I turn my failures
into success! My actions are often less than perfect, yet I don't
condemn myself or others for
failures and for being less than perfect.
Failure or less than ideal conditions ultimately contribute to the realization
of my vision and mastery in life. After setbacks I quickly move on
to create excellence
once again. I may not get what I want in life, but I always get
what I think I deserve.
I am alive and breathing; therefore, I am a deserving, worthy, special,
and competent human being. My imperfections determine my uniqueness
and rarity. This
rarity and uniqueness gives me my value as a human being and determines
my performance in life.
What I must realize is there is an inverse relationship between my self-esteem
and stress. The higher my self-esteem, the less stress I experience
daily. It happens
because I believe that I deserve better behavior from myself.
My failures are not I.
There is also a direct relationship between high self-esteem and productivity.
High self-esteem is believing I deserve to be effective and productive.
Then my
performance is a reflection of my internal worth, not a measure of
my internal worth! It is my value that determines my quality of performance,
not my performance
that determines my value.
Self-Transformational Techniques
There are self-transformational techniques I use daily to optimize my
self-esteem/self-confidence. These activate my success mechanism
(maintain positive
simulations and positive self-talk). When this is achieved, there
is a positive biochemical change that takes place throughout my body.
I have more energy to tackle
the day, I possess positive winning feelings, and my personal motivation
is increased to help me sustain my efforts and reduces my stress.
In turn this enhances my
effectiveness level.
Perhaps, the most important key to the permanent enhancement of my self-confidence is the practice of positive self-talk.
Every waking moment I feed my subconscious self-images, positive
thoughts about myself and/or my performances, so relentlessly and vividly
that my self-images
are in time modified to conform to the new, higher standards.
My body believes every word I say. My negative and positive self-talk
is recorded by my self-image
as facts to be stored as reality.
I’m careful of not saying such statement as, “I just don't have the
patience or energy for that,” “I’m really out of shape,” “I never win anything,”
or, “It’s going to be
another one of those days!”
I am a winner and want to continue being a winner, so I use constructive
self-talk everyday: “I can,” “I look forward,” “next time I’ll get
it right,” “I feel better,” “I’m
worthy of respect and trust,” “I perform well under pressure,” “I believe
in myself,” “I’ll get the job done correctly the first time,” “Regardless
of what happens in my
life I have decided to be happy,” “I am the best,” “I am extremely
competent,” “I am receptive to learning and growing,” or, “I am fast, focused,
and flexible.” By
doing this, I pay value to myself as an individual.
An indicator of someone’s opinion of themselves is the way they accept
a compliment. It is incredible how low-achievers belittle and demean
themselves when
others try to pay them value:
“I’d like to congratulate you on handling that
situation with your client.” “Oh, it was nothing, I was just lucky,
I guess.”
“Wow, that was a great shot you made.”
“Yeah! I had my eyes closed.”
“That’s a good looking suit, is it new?”
“I’ve been thinking of giving it to goodwill.”
The loser believes that the quality of humility should be pushed over
the cliff into humorous humiliation. And the devastating fact is
that the robot (subconscious) is
always listening and accepts these negative barbs as facts to store
as reality.
I, a winner, accept compliments by simply saying, “Thank you.”
Steve Cauthen, after winning the Triple Crown, doesn’t say “Gee, I almost
fell off my horse.” He
says, “Thank you.” Neil Armstrong says, “Thank you,” to the accolades
from mission control. Michael Jordan says, “Thank you,” Tiger Woods
says, “thank you,”
after a job well done. Self-esteem is the quality of simply saying,
“Thank you,” and accepting value that is paid to me by others.
It manifests in other ways, too.
I sit up front in the most prominent rows when I attend meetings, lectures
and conferences. My purpose for going is to listen, learn and possibly
exchange questions
and answers with the keynote speaker.
I volunteer my own name first in every telephone call and whenever I
meet someone new. By paying value to my own name in communication,
I am developing
the habit of paying value to myself as an individual.
I give a firm handshake when I meet someone; I don’t squeeze it to cause pain. My handshake tells a lot about me.
I maintain eye contact when speaking to someone. If I have a difficulty with this, then I look at the bridge of their nose.
I do something for myself because I deserve it. I buy myself dinner, a book, a gift.
I do something for others without looking for praise or encouragement
in return, with a pleasant mental attitude. It’s important that they
cannot return the favor,
that no one knows about it. I could send a thank you card to
someone who was responsible for introducing me to someone special.
How about this idea to enhance self-esteem? I am grateful daily.
Each week I write down who and what I’m thankful for. I didn’t realize
how thankful I was for
my health until I hurt my back with my horses in April of 1986.
I was running on the ground next to a filly and she pushed me. I
felt good enough then, but the next
day I couldn’t walk. I now have sciatica. I learned how
to control the pain and live with it, but now I really do appreciate my
health. Do you?
I’m thankful for my Mother, although she’s losing her short-term memory.
It’s not that bad. I had a birthday last week and she sent me two
checks … only
kidding. She forgot my birthday.
I’m thankful for love at first sight; best friends; heroes; second chances;
family traditions; the power of dreams; the gift of forgiveness; a sense
of humor;
unexpected rainbows; learning something new; easy to follow instruction
manuals; repairmen who arrive on time; outdoor weddings; indoor plumbing;
the smell of a
new car; privacy, loyalty, integrity, and faith; good advice; a first
kiss; the wisdom of old age; a hand to hold.
I write a list of my accomplishments and positive qualities I’m proud
of. I utilize this activity if I am about to tackle a job or goal
that I feel is very difficult, when
I may have self-doubt or get discouraged. Discouragement is a
disease; it spreads. So this is what I do.
I think about what is right. I concentrate on my successes, and
this builds confidence in me that I can do it.
A person gets discouraged because they recall past failures, so I need
to focus on my strengths rather than my weaknesses.
What I focus on expands. I will be given more of what I focus
on. I develop a positive environment to remind me what is most important.
I have a success wall in
my home: posters about goals, courage, passion, teamwork, achievement
and opportunity.
I carry an index card on me and write my goals on it. Throughout the day I may read it two to ten times depending on the need.
I have a motivational board in my office. On it I write names
of exceptionally supportive and positive clients, names of companies I
will be presenting to, pictures
of goals I want to achieve in the next 30 to 60 days, and a list of
happy, satisfied clients.
I also have a victory wall in my study. It holds plaques from
companies that are saying thank you – McDonalds, Coca-Cola, Automatic Data
Processing, and
AT&T – as well as my Diplomas and Certificates. I also have
a bust of Superman, to remind me that I am a super human being. But
most important I have photos
of family members from childhood, to remind me where I came from.
I must not forget about my goal poster, those achievements planned for the next 20 years are also on the wall in my library.
If I want to develop more self-confidence, then I will read this book
daily. I will remember what I like and forget what I dislike!
Low self-esteeming people
remember what they disliked 24 hours after reading a book or attending
a professional development program. High self-esteeming people remember
what they liked
and use it to improve themselves daily.
If I focus on what I dislike, then I forget everything that can benefit
me. IF I want, I can use a highlighter to underline all the great
ideas that can help me achieve my
dreams and goals.
I take pride and enjoyment in my current position. For 99% of
the goals I want to achieve, I can achieve them in the corporation I’m
working for now. How
many times have I seen people move on to another job because of a few
extra bucks or because they think the grass is greener? They’re wrong!
It looks greener
because I observe it from a distance. If I look closely, I can
see just as must doo-doo over there as over here. Many times people
return to where they started after
experimenting with other options. I must realize that my job
is a vehicle to aid me in reaching my corporate and personal goals.
I’ve heard people say, “This job is not what I thought it was.” The truth is, “It's what they thought it was, but they are not what they thought they were.”
To avoid that I needed to learn how to make changes in my internal responses, rather than searching for external stimulation in my external environment!
I learned how to set my own internal standards. Rather than comparing
myself to others, I should compare my present performance with my past
performances.
Then I keep upgrading my own standards, lifestyle, behavior, professional
accomplishments, and relationships. I continually raise my ideal
self-image when it comes
to my attitudes, goals, and interests.
I frequently take rides to observe nature; the sea, and mountains –
they have therapeutic value. Look at the word “esteem.” Literally
it means to appreciate the
value of. Why do we stand in awe of the power and immensity of
the sea, the uniqueness of a solar eclipse, the beauty of a mountain range,
the size of a giant
redwood, or the tranquility of a sunset, yet at the same time downgrade
ourselves? Didn’t the same creator make us? Are we not the most marvelous
creation of all,
able to think, experience, change our environment, and love?
I won’t downgrade the product just because I haven’t used it properly and
effectively.
When doctors use an electroencephalogram (EEG) to record the electrical
activity in a person’s brain, they know that random brainwaves indicate
stress. However,
when a person is experiencing the sight of the sea, a mountain range
– and yes, even a golf course – the brain waves are activated and aligned
to create “Brain Wave
Coherence.” A relaxed meditative state, an ideal performance
state is created. They are in “the Zone.” I take time personally
to visit the ocean and mountains
several times throughout the year.
I maintain high self-esteem body language. I walk more erectly
and authoritatively in public and private, with a relaxed but more rapid
pace. Individuals who
walk erectly and briskly are usually confident about themselves and
where they are going. I lean forward and nod as I’m speaking to someone.
My arms and legs
are uncrossed when I’m having a one on one conversation. I have
pressed, clean clothes. My hair is neat and clean. I project
on the outside how I feel about
myself on the inside.
Oh yes! I always carry breath mints. There is nothing worse
than being with someone, and instead of listening to what I’m saying they’re
thinking how bad my
breath is. I want to make friends and influence people, so I
am aware of my breath and body odor. My personal grooming and lifestyle
habits provide instantaneous
projection on the surface of how I feel inside about myself.
I Smile! A smile is the most obvious external appearance of high
self-esteem. A smile is the light in my window that says I’m a caring,
sharing person. And it’s the
universal code that says I’m OK – and you’re OK, too.
Michael Eisner, CEO of Walt Disney was interviewed on C-SPAN when he
received the “Executive of the Year Trophy” at the Chicago Executive Club.
He was
asked why he had such dynamic and positive employees. His response
was, “We interview 50 people at a time. We select the one that has
the perpetual smile, the
eyes light up with excitement, high energy and enthusiasm while going
through the group interview.” He was also asked, “How did Disney
University become so
successful?” Mr. Eisner said, “If I can share a secret.
Corporations send their middle management to our Institute, they go back
and say, everyone should attend.
Months go bye without any follow through because they get caught up
in their daily activities and forget.
“Because the top one percent of their leaders don’t attend, business
goes on as usual. Then five years later a senior officer says, ‘Let’s
send our people to Disney
again.’ So in reality we double dip companies. The same
people come back.”
Remember I said that our behavior and feelings are compatible.
When I’m happy I smile, but also when I smile I become happy. A smile
always triggers positive
feelings in my body, the same way laughter does for all those 1000
Laughing Clubs in India.
It’s a two-way system, the mind/body effect. The University of
California in 1983 determined that the facial muscles are connected to
the limbic gland in the brain,
which triggers positive chemicals – endorphins in the brain – that
will incline me to think positive thoughts.
After I get up in the morning, within five seconds I walk into the bathroom,
look in the mirror, and smile. I engage in this Performance Ritual
(habit of behavior
associated with success) for 15 to 20 seconds. I do this for
two reasons. First, it secretes positive enzymes. Second, it
exercises my smile muscles so I’m able
to smile more easily throughout the day or on the phone.
My actions and certain behaviors trigger positive feelings: smiling, moving faster, talking faster, standing up straight, and sitting up straight.
The best activity to engage in daily to develop more self-confidence/self-esteem
is prayer. I fall asleep praying. I find it relaxing and reassuring.
I also have
developed the habit of praying for people throughout the day, if I
believe they are less fortunate. This could be someone who has been
in an accident, who has lost
their temper and begun to scream because of the stress they are under,
or someone who has a broken limb or is sick.
Let me mention about my prayer when seeing an accident. Have you
ever driven on a highway and experienced backed up traffic because of an
accident? After
20-30 minutes you may pass the accident scene, and you find the cars
have been moved off the highway and into the breakdown lane. The
roadway is clear beyond
the accident. Why is there backup traffic still? The reason
is everyone is slowing down to see the accident. What possible good
could that do? I ask people why,
and they say they want to see if anyone got hurt.
That doesn’t make sense. Why? Let’s say you saw that people
were hurt. Blood is everywhere, people are screaming because of a
loss of life. Now what? Why
do you want to see that? There is nothing you can do about it.
You have no control over the situation.
Instead of engaging in this behavior, this is the habit I’ve developed
when there is an accident on the side of the road. I focus on the
license plate of the car in front
of me and select one number from it. Let’s say for example the
license plate read “465-978.” I decide to choose the number 6, and
say that many Hail Mary’s for
the accident victims. This is the power of Prayer. I feel
I can benefit them and I have control.
One of the best things I can do to maintain and develop a high self-confidence
level is to establish and maintain a daily personal plan of action in developing
my
potential. I invest in my own knowledge and skill development.
Since the only real security is the kind that’s inside me, I practice what
Ben Franklin wrote: “If an
individual empties his purse into his head, no one can take it from
him." I listen to tapes, CDs, CD-ROMs and attend seminars on personal
and professional
development. The best time to listen is while I’m driving.
My car is my University of Super Achievers. I take charge!
Up until now I’ve shared a few ideas that I follow daily to optimize
my confidence level. I needed also to understand that many things
happen in my environment to
lower my self-esteem.
Many people engage in self-sabotage daily. They create motivational blocks for themselves and myself. They engage in compulsi